Chemistry's greatest achivement? - What is chemistry's greatest achievement ...... Artificial blondes!
Official Polish Sex Quiz - Study each question carefully. Then, choose the answer that seems most correct (True or False) and mark an "X" (just like you sign your name) under the appropriate heading on the right side. > TRUE FALSE 1. A clitoris is a type of flower. |______|______| 2. Pubic hair is a wild rabbit. |______|______| 3. "Spread Eagle" is an extinct bird. |______|______| 4. Vagina is a medical term used to describe heart trouble. |______|______| 5. Menstrual cycle has three (3) wheels. |______|______| 6. A G-string is part of a violin. |______|______| 7. Semen is another word for "sailor". |______|______| 8. Anus is the Latin word for "yearly". |______|______| 9. Testicles are found on an octopus. |______|______| 10. Asphalt describes rectal troubles. |______|______| 11. Masturbate is used to catch large fish. |______|______| 12. KOTEX is a radio station in Bryan, Texas. |______|______| 13. Coitus is a musical instrument. |______|______| 14. Fetus is a character on "Gunsmoke". |______|______| 15. An umbilical cord is part of a parachute. |______|______| 16. A condom is an apartment complex. |______|______| 17. An organism is the person who accompanies the chior in church. |______|______| 18. A diaphram is a drawing in geometry. |______|______| 19. A dildo is a variety of sweet pickle. |______|______| 20. An erection is when the Japanese vote for their new government officials. |______|______| 21. A lesbian is a person from the Middle East. |______|______| 22. Sodomy is a special kind of fast-growing grass. |______|______| 23. Pornography is the business of making record albums. |______|______| 24. Genitals are people of non-Jewish origins. |______|______| 25. Douche is the Italian word for "twelve". |______|______| 26. An enema is someone who is not your friend. |______|______| 27. Ovaries are a French egg dish made with cheese. |______|______|
Dinosaurs - Whats a lesbian dinosaur? A lickalotofpuss ! Whats a gay dinosaur? A lickdicknopuss !
What Can I Get? - A man walks into a pharmacy and goes to the counter. Standing behind the counter is a young woman. "May I speak to the pharmacist?" he asks. "Well," she replies, "I am the pharmacist." He looks very uncomfortable, and asks for a *male* pharmacist, as he has a "male problem." She informs him that only she and her sister work at this particular establishment. He blushes and says, "Well, I really do need help, so I guess I'll ask you... I have a problem. I have a constant erection, and nothing I do seems to get rid of it. It's been like this for three months now. Can you give me anything for it?" The woman looks thoughtful, and says, "Hold on, I'll go in back and ask my sister." After a couple of minutes she returns and says, "We'll give you half of the business and it's profits, but that's all we can give you for it..."
The Brass Rat - A man walked into a curio store and was looking around. After awhile, he chose a brass rat and brought it up to the counter. The proprietor said, that will be $10 for the brass rat and $1,000 for the story behind it. The man said, 'Thanks, but I'll just pay the $10 and pass on the story.' He purchased the brass rat and left the store. As he was walking down the street, he started noticing all sorts of rats following him. The further he walked -- the more rats followed. He walked down to the wharf and still more rats came out and followed him. So, he decided to walk out into the water, which he did -- and all the rats drowned. He returned to the store where he purchased the brass rat, and when he walked in, the proprietor said, 'Ah ha! You came back to pay the $1,000 for the story, right?' 'Nope,' replied the man, 'Just came back to see if you have any brass lawyers!'
Ford - What does Ford stand for? Found On Rednecks Driveway!
Why Name Penises - Why do men name their penises? Because they don't like the idea of having a stranger make 90% of their decisions!
4 Docs and GW Bush! - 4 Doctors were talking shop one day... An Israeli doctor said, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in six weeks." A German doctor said "That's nothing! In Germany, we can take a lung out of one person, put it in another and have him looking for work in four weeks." A Russian doctor said, "In my country, medicine is so advanced, we can take half a heart from one person, put it in another and have them both looking for work in two weeks." The American doctor, not to be outdone, said "Hah! We are about to take an asshole out of Texas, put him in the White House and half the country will be looking for work the next day!"
Jumpin' Off A Bridge - A blonde and a brunette jumped off a bridge, who landed in the water first? The brunette. The blonde had to stop and ask for directions.